Play Hard To Get (And Other Really Bad Dating Advice)

Sign Up! Men apparently, love the chase. We browse through a plethora of guides on dating and almost each one tells us to present ourselves as a challenge. Because playing hard to get is definitely regressive and messing it all up, for women. This whole shady concept comes from the scientific fact that the pursuit of sex stimulates the reward centre in our brains. Apparently, buying your affection with gifts and flirting elevates the dopamine levels in men who, as a matter of fact, thrive on this feeling! But no. For decades, relationships, like most other things were patriarchal in nature.

Playing hard to get might be a terrible idea if you actually like someone — here’s why

Brooke Lewis. So, Guys, take a few expert advice tips from a Lady who has been there:. I know, we all hate the busy word. Guys, like you, women are busier than ever. More and more women are uber focused on their careers.

dating advice and relationship advice series, you’ll find some priceless advice on relationships: Carlos show you how playing hard to get works – and should.

Many people believe playing hard to get will make someone interested in them. In fact, there is no evidence to suggest this is true. Instead of making you seem appealing, it can make people like you less. Rather than being disinterested, you should be selective. You will probably have heard this classic piece of dating advice thousands of times: Play hard to get. In the s, a series of studies led by American psychologist Elaine Hatfield looked into whether playing hard to get really works.

Social psychologist Viren Swami highlights the findings in a blog post for Refinery In one study, male participants were told to phone up a woman who had been selected with a dating service and ask her out. Half the time, the woman would be busy and dismissive until finally accepting, and the other half of the time she would enthusiastically accept the invitation.

In fact, there was no evidence at all that playing hard to get made them more desirable. Of course, this was the result under experimental conditions.

Dating Advice

Your younger self might think ignoring his calls or texts for 2. It is, however, a good idea to not be quite so available all the time, and the best way to do that is to either a be busy or b legitimately not see that he called or texted. I know how much you love your phone. I get it. I love mine too.

I am single and actively dating, and I recently received some advice from male friends that I should make myself less available to the men I date.

Jump to navigation. In essence, the rarer an object or experience is, the more desirable it becomes. Cialdini asserts that because the warring Capulet and Montague families hamper Romeo and Juliet from courting one and other , it actually encourages them to desire each other even more. As we all know, their ill-fated passion meets a tragic and fatal end.

Albeit self-imposed, being coy with a prospective partner generally increases their fancy for being with you. Over the last decade a substantial number of psychologists, behavioural scientists and sociologists have tried to get the bottom of why so many of us have either instigated or experienced a bout of playing hard to get. Suffice it to say, the results have been pretty conclusive; as a dating tactic, it works.

When Playing Hard To Get Backfires

Dating advice videos are plentiful! It could be that she had an abusive father and, as a result, never learned to trust men in general. Maybe the lady just got out of a relationship and is still licking her wounds. Women tend to think about relationships a lot more than guys do.

Playing hard to get definitely regressive and messing it all up, for women. It’s time to make dating more authentic, and fuss-free.

These two pieces of research have the power to transform your dating life, in the best possible ways. Does playing hard to get actually work? And what is the single quality people are most looking for in their search for love? Stay tuned to the deeper dating podcast to find out. Hello and welcome to The Deeper Dating Podcast. If you want to learn more about the deeper dating approach, and how it can speed and ease your path to finding love, just go to deeperdatingpodcast.

Also, everything I share in this podcast is educational in nature.

Why “Play hard to get” is terrible dating advice for women

She had just finished telling me about a promising blind date she had on Saturday night with Alan, a thirty-three-year-old sports agent. Their love lives are at a standstill. On the rare occasions, they actually meet a nice guy through a friend or a dating website, it never goes anywhere. Of course, it is easy to blame Tinder and hookup culture for keeping them single.

Friends: “playing hard to get” is a scam. It is the antithesis of what makes a good relationship, one that is built on trust, communication, and.

Subscriber Account active since. You will probably have heard this classic piece of dating advice thousands of times: Play hard to get. It’s a common belief that acting aloof and unavailable will drive someone crazy, and right into your arms. If you’re looking to attract men, this course of action is considered particularly effective. But if scientific research is anything to go by, it’s nonsense. In the s, a series of studies led by American psychologist Elaine Hatfield looked into whether playing hard to get really works.

Social psychologist Viren Swami highlights the findings in a blog post for Refinery

How to Play Hard to Get (Without Playing Any Games)

Get expert advice on playing hard to get. Click here to chat online to someone right now. Dating advice like this has been around for years, but how are you meant to do it without just being… mean? Keep it playful. The whole point of playing hard to get is that you and your crush are both having fun playing a bit of a game.

The philosophy of “playing hard to get” has been instilled in me since been propagated as the gold standard of dating advice for centuries.

Some scientists believe the principle of reciprocity is the single most important determinant of whether one person will like another. Skip navigation! Story from Health. In fact, the idea of playing hard to get probably ranks as one of the most popular dating tips of all time, but does it actually work? In the s, Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues conducted a series of experiments to test whether playing hard to get works.

In one of their studies, straight men who signed up to a computer dating service were told that the computer had found them a date.

How To Tell If A Girl Is Playing Hard To Get (Or Just Not Interested)